I feel like i ought to write something

but what should i say?

I've generated many post ideas in the past few days, but somehow i never got around to writing them down and now, i've forgotten what i wanted to say.

So ive kinda been depressed the last few days. It always happens after i watch a really good anime movie or series, or even just a really meaningful normal movie. Recently, i watched The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya. I have to say, it is one of the best animated movies i've seen. Right up there with 5cm/s and Hayao Miyazaki's films. It was so good, so magical, so whimsical, that it left me completely discontent with this world. I didn't know what to do with  myself afterwards. I felt totally lost. Why does magic not exist in the world which we live in? Why are there no time travelers, aliens, and espers? This world seems so dull, so boring, so plain in comparison. Is this why humanity makes these kind of movies? To provide an escape from the harsh realities of this world?

I dont know whether if its just the winter chill or if its the sheer weight of the banality of life pressing down on me, but these days i feel myself growing more and more numb. Lethargic. I can feel the fire of desire inside my heart burn a little less brighter with each sunrise, and my emotions and feelings become more and more fossilized as i grow increasingly impassive. These days, i've simply stopped caring. About anything.

In a way i guess that's a good thing. I've stopped having expectations for anything. And you know what they say - no expectations, no disappointments. The monotony of each day just blends into one another, until i lose all perception of time. The numbers on the calendar, the days of the week, the hands on the clock, none of them hold any meaning for me other than having an assignment due that day or having to go to work that day. I still have highs and lows. I still laugh till i can feel my stomach's about to burst. I still get angry to the point i want to stomp someones face in. There are still moments when i feel hopeful for the future, or upset over the state of my life. There are even moments where i feel proud of myself for what ive accomplished. But these moments never last. And when they disapppear, the lethargy, the impassiveness, is still there, having never left. It hangs thick in the gloom of my room like the mist that blankets the streets outside my window. It collects in the folds of my duvet, between the keys of my laptop, and in the corners of my heart. It is a constant drain on the vitality of my essence, slowly leeching away my desire and passion.

ROFL. Think i got a little bit carried away there. Ahhh that felt good. I haven't written anything remotely poetic or interesting in a long time. I can really feel my english degenerating. I should start reading again. Anyway if you're still reading, I hope you've gotten what you wanted out of this post, be it to kill some time or simply to have something to read. With this, i bid you farewell dear reader. May you stay safe and warm until next time. Adios.