"Dreams are like classics. Rather than fading with time, they become even more precious" - Old Boy
Saturday, 30 April 2011
I wonder what it's like
to be able to have such an effect on someone
with every word you say
every expression you make
every touch that connects
every thought that's expressed
every step you take
every little thing you forsake.
To be able to make someone's heart ache
with the way your hair billows
the way your brow furrows
the way your teeth shows in a smile
the way you dress in just the right style
the way you always says goodbye
the way your silhouette is framed against the sky.
I wonder how it feels
to never struggle to be heard
to have someone hang on your every word
to receive help whenever you need
to never realise the pain you breed
to appear so close yet be so far
to collect all these hearts
in your little jar.
Oh how i wonder.
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
or maybe in my drug fueled chronically depressed high
ill find the inspiration to write a beautiful piece of literature
my landlord who barges into my room, about to evict me
chances upon my writing
he who fancies himself as an amateur writer instantly falls in love with it
my writing is published in the local newspaper
then some publishing company calls me
offers me a contract
my parents call, having saw my photo in the local paper
after a tearful (on my part) reunion, they convince me to join rehab
i enrol myself in rehab
i meet a nice nurse
she knows everyones name
shes beautiful, intelligent, caring
she tells me funny stories about all the patients here
we start hanging out all the time
i ask her out to dinner
she agrees
slowly and romantically, we begin our courtship
i become clean
i write a fictional book based on my experience
it becomes an instant bestseller
i become rich
i get married
i have kids
i live a happy life
i die comfortably of old age
with no regrets.
or maybe i just finish my assignment on time.
its amazing how easily everything could potentially work out again.
ill find the inspiration to write a beautiful piece of literature
my landlord who barges into my room, about to evict me
chances upon my writing
he who fancies himself as an amateur writer instantly falls in love with it
my writing is published in the local newspaper
then some publishing company calls me
offers me a contract
my parents call, having saw my photo in the local paper
after a tearful (on my part) reunion, they convince me to join rehab
i enrol myself in rehab
i meet a nice nurse
she knows everyones name
shes beautiful, intelligent, caring
she tells me funny stories about all the patients here
we start hanging out all the time
i ask her out to dinner
she agrees
slowly and romantically, we begin our courtship
i become clean
i write a fictional book based on my experience
it becomes an instant bestseller
i become rich
i get married
i have kids
i live a happy life
i die comfortably of old age
with no regrets.
or maybe i just finish my assignment on time.
its amazing how easily everything could potentially work out again.
i like blogs
i can write whatever the fuck i want
then just delete it later
before people sees them
it makes me feel naughty
fuck this world
fuck my life
im not gonna finish this assignment
which means i wont pass the practical component
which means ill fail this paper
which means i wont be able to graduate this year
which means i wont be able to do post grad next year
which means i will have to waste a year
which means i probably will end up working instead of going back to uni
which means ill end up in some shitty dead end job that pays shit
which means ill run around everyday kissing peoples ass just to keep my job
which means no girl is going to want to marry me
my parents will prob kick me out of the house
ill get depressed
ill stop going out
ill lose all my friends
then ill get even more depressed
ill start doing drugs
spend all of my time gambling
lose all my money
start stealing supplies from work
get caught by the fat receptionist lady
be forced to have sex with her just so she wont rat me out
drink every night just to be able to fall asleep
then one day ill just give up altogether
and commit suicide
or die from hunger
and thats how easily everything can fall apart.
i can write whatever the fuck i want
then just delete it later
before people sees them
it makes me feel naughty
fuck this world
fuck my life
im not gonna finish this assignment
which means i wont pass the practical component
which means ill fail this paper
which means i wont be able to graduate this year
which means i wont be able to do post grad next year
which means i will have to waste a year
which means i probably will end up working instead of going back to uni
which means ill end up in some shitty dead end job that pays shit
which means ill run around everyday kissing peoples ass just to keep my job
which means no girl is going to want to marry me
my parents will prob kick me out of the house
ill get depressed
ill stop going out
ill lose all my friends
then ill get even more depressed
ill start doing drugs
spend all of my time gambling
lose all my money
start stealing supplies from work
get caught by the fat receptionist lady
be forced to have sex with her just so she wont rat me out
drink every night just to be able to fall asleep
then one day ill just give up altogether
and commit suicide
or die from hunger
and thats how easily everything can fall apart.
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Friday, 22 April 2011
Priorities
I need to keep my head in the game.
I need to stop being led astray by you people.
I need to focus.
I need to prioritise.
I need to study!
I need to stop being led astray by you people.
I need to focus.
I need to prioritise.
I need to study!
Tuesday, 19 April 2011
You
I have the capacity to hurt,
I have the capacity to hate.
But because i care about you,
Because i don't want to lose you,
These things i will not do.
Yet should you continue to be an ignorant fool,
Don't blame me for changing my mind.
I have the capacity to hate.
But because i care about you,
Because i don't want to lose you,
These things i will not do.
Yet should you continue to be an ignorant fool,
Don't blame me for changing my mind.
Sunday, 17 April 2011
something sweet
this was not written by me. supriti posted this in 2008, but i dont know whether she wrote it or not. either way, i think its a beautiful piece of writing.
"this is about not wanting to leave out any details, not wanting to miss a beat, not wanting to forget a moment, a smile, a smell, a taste. not wanting to forget the color of anyone's eyes, the sound of anyone's voice, the shape of anyone's hands.
this is about coffee and clove cigarettes and layered clothes, messy hair, beatup shoes, dirty hands and dirty nails. sore throat from screaming into the wind. sore eyes from constantly searching searching searching for i don't know what.
and this is about you, yr hopes and fears, yr dreams and nightmares. tell me yr secrets. tell me what inspires you.
this is about staying in bed all day while rain beats on the window, while brown leaves float through a bruise-colored sky. this is about old books, the beautiful pattern of words on yellow paper, the smell of dust and memories and make-believe.
this is about peter pan and wendy, about not wanting to grow up even though we know we're not children anymore. we stay up late with the windows open, smoke blowing out, cold air coming in. we sleep in our jeans and dirty t-shirts, ready to slip on shoes and have an adventure at a moment's notice.
this is about the sick-sweet smell of 99-cent incense, marijuana, camel menthols, marlboro 27s, and cake-scented body spray. and scent is the sense most tied to memory. i will always remember strawberry lips and blondehairhaloes and greengold eyes that give away lies.
this is about sharing our body heat, our clothes, our cd's, our drugs. this is about us. this is all about us. me and you against the world, kid.
and this is about the words coming so fast i trip over them and forget where i'm going. this is about getting lost on the road to nowhere. about sparing for change at gas stations so we can get to the next town.
this is about you sneaking up on me in my dreams. and the way i awake and feel for you next to me. you're not there, but i can imagine yr head on the pillow, yr hand on my hipbone, yr covergirl eyelashes that make me so jealous.
this is about the music that flows through all of us. this is about the way i carry you in my veins. this is about my heart pounding with my feet, my hands grasping for everything. i'm hungry, starving, for fresh air and guitar chords and open maps and djarum blacks and converse hi-tops and black blue orange red hoodies and stars in the sky that i'm always looking to and you. all of you. every bit.
that's what this is all about.
the way you hold my arm when we're drunk, the way you squeeze my shoulders when we've been awake for 36 hours straight, the way you lay yr head on my lap and close yr eyes and let me play with yr hair.
this is about running from the cops and running blindly into the future. and laughing -- we're always laughing laughing laughing even when we aren't speaking.
the way you always seem to know exactly what i'm thinking.
the way you cook breakfast for me at four in the afternoon.
the way you wake me up and say, "do you need a cigarette?"
the way we shout with our favorite songs as we ride down backroads with the bright lights on.
this is about mix-cd's and pawning our shit so we can go to shows and writing lyrics on my bedroom walls, in notebooks, on our hands, on each other. this is about matching tattoos, matching scars, matching ideas, matching souls.
this is about "soco amaretto lime" and "you must be willing" and ted leo and drug money and lil wayne and the way we hug each other.
this is about tarot cards and bob dylan and hwy 41, hwy 74, i-75, euclid ave, moreland ave, ponce de leon and his fountain of youth.
this is about running out of paper, running out of ink, running out of gas, but never running out of ideas, never running out of inspiration, never running out of love, and refusing we're running out of time. 'cause we can't, we can't run out of time. when you take everything else away, all we have is time.
and each other."
"this is about not wanting to leave out any details, not wanting to miss a beat, not wanting to forget a moment, a smile, a smell, a taste. not wanting to forget the color of anyone's eyes, the sound of anyone's voice, the shape of anyone's hands.
this is about coffee and clove cigarettes and layered clothes, messy hair, beatup shoes, dirty hands and dirty nails. sore throat from screaming into the wind. sore eyes from constantly searching searching searching for i don't know what.
and this is about you, yr hopes and fears, yr dreams and nightmares. tell me yr secrets. tell me what inspires you.
this is about staying in bed all day while rain beats on the window, while brown leaves float through a bruise-colored sky. this is about old books, the beautiful pattern of words on yellow paper, the smell of dust and memories and make-believe.
this is about peter pan and wendy, about not wanting to grow up even though we know we're not children anymore. we stay up late with the windows open, smoke blowing out, cold air coming in. we sleep in our jeans and dirty t-shirts, ready to slip on shoes and have an adventure at a moment's notice.
this is about the sick-sweet smell of 99-cent incense, marijuana, camel menthols, marlboro 27s, and cake-scented body spray. and scent is the sense most tied to memory. i will always remember strawberry lips and blondehairhaloes and greengold eyes that give away lies.
this is about sharing our body heat, our clothes, our cd's, our drugs. this is about us. this is all about us. me and you against the world, kid.
and this is about the words coming so fast i trip over them and forget where i'm going. this is about getting lost on the road to nowhere. about sparing for change at gas stations so we can get to the next town.
this is about you sneaking up on me in my dreams. and the way i awake and feel for you next to me. you're not there, but i can imagine yr head on the pillow, yr hand on my hipbone, yr covergirl eyelashes that make me so jealous.
this is about the music that flows through all of us. this is about the way i carry you in my veins. this is about my heart pounding with my feet, my hands grasping for everything. i'm hungry, starving, for fresh air and guitar chords and open maps and djarum blacks and converse hi-tops and black blue orange red hoodies and stars in the sky that i'm always looking to and you. all of you. every bit.
that's what this is all about.
the way you hold my arm when we're drunk, the way you squeeze my shoulders when we've been awake for 36 hours straight, the way you lay yr head on my lap and close yr eyes and let me play with yr hair.
this is about running from the cops and running blindly into the future. and laughing -- we're always laughing laughing laughing even when we aren't speaking.
the way you always seem to know exactly what i'm thinking.
the way you cook breakfast for me at four in the afternoon.
the way you wake me up and say, "do you need a cigarette?"
the way we shout with our favorite songs as we ride down backroads with the bright lights on.
this is about mix-cd's and pawning our shit so we can go to shows and writing lyrics on my bedroom walls, in notebooks, on our hands, on each other. this is about matching tattoos, matching scars, matching ideas, matching souls.
this is about "soco amaretto lime" and "you must be willing" and ted leo and drug money and lil wayne and the way we hug each other.
this is about tarot cards and bob dylan and hwy 41, hwy 74, i-75, euclid ave, moreland ave, ponce de leon and his fountain of youth.
this is about running out of paper, running out of ink, running out of gas, but never running out of ideas, never running out of inspiration, never running out of love, and refusing we're running out of time. 'cause we can't, we can't run out of time. when you take everything else away, all we have is time.
and each other."
There's so much i want to say
I don't even know where to begin.
I wore a funny expression on my face all of last night.
It was of me trying desperately not to smile, and failing miserably so.
The older we become, the harder we try to reconnect with our youth.
Drinking yourself silly, smoking pot and revisiting your high school are just some of the things you can do.
I wish my eyes were the lens of a camera, so that i could hold on to these moments and memories forever, and they will never fade with time.
I'm still trying to discover the meaning of life, but I think last night has brought me a little bit closer to the truth.
Friendship is like the sky - beautiful, sacred, boundless, and omnipresent. It is forever changing, yet it is always the same. It is always there for us, yet we take it for granted. But occasionally, we will glance up and catch the dying rays of the setting sun igniting the sky in fiery, futile defiance, and realise how beautiful the world truly is. Last night was one of those moments. Words cannot even hope to express how happy I am to have met all the extra special people that are now in my life.
"因为我有我想要的朋友
你是我最想要的朋友"
I know my 20th year will be amazing, because you will be in it.
我不用去寻找幸福,因为它一直就在我的身边。
Sif own me at Taylor Swift lyrics.
If you asked me, I'd lie.
Hey it's 11:11, so make a wish.
I really do hope my wish will come true.
I wore a funny expression on my face all of last night.
It was of me trying desperately not to smile, and failing miserably so.
The older we become, the harder we try to reconnect with our youth.
Drinking yourself silly, smoking pot and revisiting your high school are just some of the things you can do.
I wish my eyes were the lens of a camera, so that i could hold on to these moments and memories forever, and they will never fade with time.
I'm still trying to discover the meaning of life, but I think last night has brought me a little bit closer to the truth.
Friendship is like the sky - beautiful, sacred, boundless, and omnipresent. It is forever changing, yet it is always the same. It is always there for us, yet we take it for granted. But occasionally, we will glance up and catch the dying rays of the setting sun igniting the sky in fiery, futile defiance, and realise how beautiful the world truly is. Last night was one of those moments. Words cannot even hope to express how happy I am to have met all the extra special people that are now in my life.
"因为我有我想要的朋友
你是我最想要的朋友"
I know my 20th year will be amazing, because you will be in it.
我不用去寻找幸福,因为它一直就在我的身边。
Sif own me at Taylor Swift lyrics.
If you asked me, I'd lie.
Hey it's 11:11, so make a wish.
I really do hope my wish will come true.
Friday, 15 April 2011
To all my loyal followers:
Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. Your continued support is what has kept the posts coming, and without your readership and love, i would not have reached where i am today. There is nothing more i can ask of you, except to enjoy all the amazing, witty, funny, thought-provoking, tear-jerking posts that will continue to be delivered over the coming years. So once again to all of you who have zealously and faithfully followed me, through all the good times and the bad times, i extend my most sincere gratitude to you from the deepest recesses of my heart.
Your beloved,
Bobby
Your beloved,
Bobby
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
Clubbing
If you display the following symptoms, you have been clubbing:
- you turned up fashionably late and missed the real party
- you spent more time outside than indoors
- you spent a fortune at the bar in hopes of getting tipsy enough to start dancing
- you ended up standing awkwardly in a small circle of people, or you're roaming around looking for small circles of people to awkwardly stand in
- you feel like shit the next day
- you most likely have work the next day
- loud people makes you wanna snap their necks and stab their unborn fetuses
- you vow to never go clubbing again
- you end up going clubbing again
- you turned up fashionably late and missed the real party
- you spent more time outside than indoors
- you spent a fortune at the bar in hopes of getting tipsy enough to start dancing
- you ended up standing awkwardly in a small circle of people, or you're roaming around looking for small circles of people to awkwardly stand in
- you feel like shit the next day
- you most likely have work the next day
- loud people makes you wanna snap their necks and stab their unborn fetuses
- you vow to never go clubbing again
- you end up going clubbing again
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Sunday, 10 April 2011
Life is a cesspit of pleasure and misery, hopes and regrets, happiness and sadness.
There's really no right or wrong way to live it.
Just have an open mind, live each day as it comes, experience each new experience, and try not to stay so bitter.
Because in the end bitterness won't solve anything anyway.
There's really no right or wrong way to live it.
Just have an open mind, live each day as it comes, experience each new experience, and try not to stay so bitter.
Because in the end bitterness won't solve anything anyway.
Saturday, 9 April 2011
The Thrill is in the Chase
Im sorry, but thats just bullshit.
It was so much simpler when we were younger, where chasing simply meant running after a girl across the playground. When you eventually catch up to her, all you had to do was touch her and yell out "you're it" or "tag" and it would've been over.
Now, i don't even know what chase means.
According to the internet: "Chinese people is very friendly. And most of Chinese girls like to talk with a foreigner if you can speak Chinese. If you said you can teach she English or other language. She will happy to be your friend. And than you can go for a travel with she. Take more care to she. Soon she will feel in love with you. So, if you want to chase a beautiful Chinese girl. Firstly,learn a littly Chinese. Start at “你好!”“你真美。”
哈哈!"
How i wish i was a foreigner that spoke shitty chinese.
It was so much simpler when we were younger, where chasing simply meant running after a girl across the playground. When you eventually catch up to her, all you had to do was touch her and yell out "you're it" or "tag" and it would've been over.
Now, i don't even know what chase means.
According to the internet: "Chinese people is very friendly. And most of Chinese girls like to talk with a foreigner if you can speak Chinese. If you said you can teach she English or other language. She will happy to be your friend. And than you can go for a travel with she. Take more care to she. Soon she will feel in love with you. So, if you want to chase a beautiful Chinese girl. Firstly,learn a littly Chinese. Start at “你好!”“你真美。”
哈哈!"
How i wish i was a foreigner that spoke shitty chinese.
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
Monday, 4 April 2011
I don't know.
I must be too forward.
Or maybe i'm just too impatient.
Fuck, i don't know.
Or maybe i'm just too impatient.
Fuck, i don't know.
Sunday, 3 April 2011
Friday, 1 April 2011
如烟
Our lives are fragile like a wisp of smoke, the slightest draft will blow it away, and no traces of it will be left. Everything seems to be balanced on our fingertips, its so easy to just give up on your dreams and have your whole life fall apart. One wrong decision, one wrong turn, can change everything. If we let our guard down for even the slightest moment, life will jump at the opportunity and punish us dearly for it.
Sometimes, that's what i really think. Then i realise, in the grand scheme of things, how little our mistakes and problems matter. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. If i've lived with life for 20 years, why would i give up on anything now? I won't give up chasing the things i want just because of some failures, i want it too much to do so. We are innately programmed to chase the things that we truly want. Its only a matter of how much we want it.
So what if life doesn't last forever? That's the beauty of life - its ephemeral. A moment is only as special as it is fleeting. If an embrace could last forever, it would not longer be magical, not to mention how tired my arms would get. The fact that everything has an expiration date will only make me treasure everything more. Why would i bother to get out of the house to look at the cherry blossoms if they are still going to be there the next day, and the day after, and everyday after that? Why would i want life to be static? It is only change that keeps life interesting. Even the past decisions that i've made that i once thought were mistakes, might prove to be actually a step in the right direction. Like they say, one closed door opens ten new ones.
If i truly had the ability to control the stars and the sun, i would completely fuck up the fragile ecosystem balance of the earth and we would all end up dead. If a roses petals would never fall, then that's obviously the fakes one you buy from the $2 shop. If there was no deadline for my assignment, i would never do it. Why would i want to have the ability to erase my past, when the road that i've walked is what defines me? How can i say i've lived life to it's fullest when i haven't experienced sadness, regret, loss and pain?
Everything in life is relative. For every yin, there is a yang. Without darkness, there would be no light. Without sadness, there would be no happiness. Without ugliness, there would be no beauty. Without pain, there would be no pleasure. Without endings, there would be no beginnings.
Yes, i would love to be able to live my life over again and correct all my mistakes. But then it would no longer be my life. Yes, there are moments in life that i wish they could last forever. But then i would miss out on all the other great moments. Yes, i wish i could live forever. But then i would miss out on the chance of being reincarnated as a panda in my next life.
I guess what im really trying to say is, I could sit here regretting not doing my assignments earlier, wishing i could turn back time and do things differently. Or, i could just do it now.
Btw, listen to 如烟 by 五月天,its a beautiful song.
And watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w22_64mOsNY&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Sometimes, that's what i really think. Then i realise, in the grand scheme of things, how little our mistakes and problems matter. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. If i've lived with life for 20 years, why would i give up on anything now? I won't give up chasing the things i want just because of some failures, i want it too much to do so. We are innately programmed to chase the things that we truly want. Its only a matter of how much we want it.
So what if life doesn't last forever? That's the beauty of life - its ephemeral. A moment is only as special as it is fleeting. If an embrace could last forever, it would not longer be magical, not to mention how tired my arms would get. The fact that everything has an expiration date will only make me treasure everything more. Why would i bother to get out of the house to look at the cherry blossoms if they are still going to be there the next day, and the day after, and everyday after that? Why would i want life to be static? It is only change that keeps life interesting. Even the past decisions that i've made that i once thought were mistakes, might prove to be actually a step in the right direction. Like they say, one closed door opens ten new ones.
If i truly had the ability to control the stars and the sun, i would completely fuck up the fragile ecosystem balance of the earth and we would all end up dead. If a roses petals would never fall, then that's obviously the fakes one you buy from the $2 shop. If there was no deadline for my assignment, i would never do it. Why would i want to have the ability to erase my past, when the road that i've walked is what defines me? How can i say i've lived life to it's fullest when i haven't experienced sadness, regret, loss and pain?
Everything in life is relative. For every yin, there is a yang. Without darkness, there would be no light. Without sadness, there would be no happiness. Without ugliness, there would be no beauty. Without pain, there would be no pleasure. Without endings, there would be no beginnings.
Yes, i would love to be able to live my life over again and correct all my mistakes. But then it would no longer be my life. Yes, there are moments in life that i wish they could last forever. But then i would miss out on all the other great moments. Yes, i wish i could live forever. But then i would miss out on the chance of being reincarnated as a panda in my next life.
I guess what im really trying to say is, I could sit here regretting not doing my assignments earlier, wishing i could turn back time and do things differently. Or, i could just do it now.
Btw, listen to 如烟 by 五月天,its a beautiful song.
And watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w22_64mOsNY&NR=1&feature=fvwp
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