Midnight musings about life and success

Every time I listen to this song, something stirs inside of me and emotions well up.

Maybe its the beautiful baritone, or the melodious mezzo. Maybe its the perfect harmonisation between a contemporary Chinese song and a timeless, classic, symphony.

Or maybe it's the way how both singers pour all their passion, ability and skills into this one song in the hopes of making their dreams come true. Only one contestant can emerge victorious and move one step closer to achieving what they've worked towards all their lives, and the way each of them musters all their abilities and skills and give it their all really resonates with me on a deep level.

Its the same when I watch the very first fight between Goku and Vegeta. The way both Saiyans push themselves to the limit and summons all their powers and energy to beat the other just makes my blood boil.

I mean how fucking cool is that.

The truth is, life IS a battlefield. And there are real winners and losers. Of course, I dont mean it in that life is a game where there can only be one winner. Rather, while everyone is ultimately a loser in the game of life (cause dying is effectively losing right?), when it comes to individual situations, there are those who succeed, and those who fail. Obvious examples include sports, love, and jobs.

And this applies to every single one of us, everyday. We all want things. We want things to happen, we want to own things. But life doesn't simply just give it to us, because magic genies that grant wishes don't exist in the real world (or at least the one I live in). So you have to fight for it. Thus every time we desire something, we are left in a situation where we can either win or lose.

Personally, I don't think im a sore loser. I know there will be many times where I lose, and I already have lost many times. But I don't WANT to lose. I want to win.

I want to win so fucking badly. You can laugh at me as you read this if you want, but the truth is I really really really really want to win. 

I want to succeed. I want to accomplish things. I want to be in a position where I have power, money, and influence. I want to be respected and admired by others. I want to be someone that women want to be with, and men want to be. I want to be Goku. Or Batman. Or Iron Man. Or Barack Obama. Or Adam Levine. Or Justin Timberlake. Or Bradley Cooper. Or Bill Gates. Or Steve Jobs. You get the gist. 

I have great aspirations for my life, because if there is one thing I hate, it is mediocrity. I'm not happy with where I am at the moment, nor am I happy with the pace of how things are moving along (I know this contradicts what I've said in an earlier post, but part of me is unhappy. And increasingly im beginning to think it's the larger part). I feel stuck, and I don't know how to un-stuck myself (im so eloquent, I know).

I wish I could push forward. I wish I could somehow find a way to break through. Find a way to reach my goals faster. Find a way to get what I want. Time is moving too slow. I AM moving too slow. At this rate, Ill long be dead before I can reach where I want to be.

For one to be successful, the 4 main ingredients are: desire, effort, luck, and know-how. I definitely have the desire to succeed. I am working on the effort. Luck is out of my control. 

Now I just gotta know how.