Look at the stars, look how they shine for you

lol im such an angry sad drunk. but wow, im so surprised i didnt vomit last night. i must've had at least 11 or 12 drinks. pretty much downed a whole bottle of soju by myself. yea im hard like that, cause im from west auckland ;D

best arm wrestle with donald ever, fuck that guy is strong. never have i expended so much effort trying to beat someone in an arm wrestle before.

i hope people didn't get annoyed with my horrible singing :DDD

i still haven't been able to cry, despite drinking so much last night and listening to all the sad songs. but maybe one day ill meet someone who can give me back my tears again. just like in True Tears n_n

i dont even know what my problem is tbh. i think im just emotionally and mentally weak, or maybe it was just the alcohol.

i think as of late ive been somewhat of a little bitch. you know how some people are just good at talking, but are useless when it comes to the walking? well im just going to walk the walk now, and ill talk the talk later when ive achieved something.

i never thought of myself as the jealous type, but last night kind of proved me wrong. but now that i think about it, what do i have to be jealous of? every one of us have our own individual qualities, there is no need to try and be like someone else. i just need to be myself and accentuate my own individual qualities.

finally opening up to my mum yesterday gave me such a sense of relief. i feel like a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. i never knew she knew me so well. mums really do have magical powers. its clear now what ive been doing wrong all these years. ive lacked perseverance and my own sense of direction. instead ive been following blindly in the footsteps of others. no wonder why im always one step behind everyone else.

instead of showing my 实力, all ive been doing is talk about my 潜力. but as ive now learnt, simply having potential is not enough. people who have real strengths are far more attractive. what im lacking is passion and conviction in what i do. if i dont believe in my own mission, who else is going to believe me?

i think all these years ive been slowly led astray, and as a result ive lost sight of whats truly important. but now i know what the right path is, and how to get myself back on track. theres really no point chasing women when i have nothing to offer them. what i need to do now is fix myself. and the only way to do that is to take action. its time to show my strengths.

"D'you know? For you i bleed myself dry.
For you i bleed myself dry."