Its so hard to concentrate

Lately, i feel i've had alot of hate within me.
Alot of hate and pent up anger.
These negative emotions have served as the fuel that feeds the fire burning inside of me, motivating me and driving me with an almost fervent zeal to study.
It's as if i have a grudge against the world, and feel the desperate and sick need to prove myself.
I know this is wrong.
I don't have to prove anything to anyone.
But I can't help myself.
I thirst for success.
I hunger for it.
I crave it.
I NEED it.
I feel the need to prove myself to the world, to all those people who ever doubted me.
Prove myself to those people who looked down on me, who thought i wasn't good enough.
A part of me wants to be the guy, who people will hear about on television, or read about in the newspaper, and they'd say "wow, i used to know that guy."
Its as if to enact retribution, vengeance, revenge.
I know this isn't right.
It's not like ive been wronged.
Yet somehow i can't shake the feeling of indignation.
Nothing good will come out of a mindset like this.
There will be no happiness at the end of this road, only emptiness.
I wish i could absolve my hatred.
I wish i could let go of my anger.
I wish i could wake up one morning and know that my soul is free from the shadows of these shackles.
But I can't help myself.
This is what i've become.