Sandcastles in the sand

After a whole week of sun, sand and sea, my life is back to normal. Escaping this city life was a truly blissful experience, and i wish i could have stayed at that paradise for a little longer. Walking along the deserted beach with nothing but the sand beneath your feet, the sky above your head, the boundless Pacific ocean to your left, and the gently rolling hills to your right, all your troubles just melt away. The white washed shores, the untamed ocean waves, the carefree clouds, it was all so amazing. There are no words to describe the feeling of seeing just a single trail of footprints leading from you into the horizon. You know how in the ending of Shakespeare in Love, you see a lone girl walking into the distance along a deserted beach? Well that's what it felt like.

And as soon as i return to auckland, all my anxieties resurface. My troubles, like the polluted air, hangs thick within my chest, weighing it down. The pressures of city life once again agitates my mind - love, career, and health. Isn't these 3 issues the root of all our problems? Finding the perfect girl, finding the perfect job, finding the perfect body image - our constant desire and need to achieve what society has deemed the vital components to "true happiness".

There were no girls at that bach, nor toned bodies on that beach, or well paid jobs in that sea. Just a bunch of bros, imperfect awkward bodies and a whole colony of scallops. Yet i was happy. So happy. Sitting down to a delicious meal with my friends that we caught and cooked with our own hands, there is no feeling better than that. I truly felt i was a part of something.

Even if it all turns to shit now and my life goes downhill from here, i will always think back to that deserted beach and the lone figure walking along the sand, trailed by a single set of footprints that disappeared into the distance, and i will feel alright. In the face of such majestic natural beauty, all my petty troubles seem...well... petty.

Im too old for this stuff

Out 3 nights in a row followed by work each morning, my body just cant take it anymore.
Im too old for this shit.

My rabbit's gone.

Fuck the bastards that took it, be it animal or human.
It was still a juvenile for fucks sake.

So apparently writing down your worries before an exam will improve your marks...

So here goes:

Im worried that i wont be able to pass this exam.
Im worried that my parents are going to be disappointed by me.
Im worried that i wont be able to find a part time job this summer.
Im worried that i wont be able to find a full time job in my field once i graduate.
Im worried that the woman i marry wont be the woman i love.
Im worried that i wont be able to do all the things that i wanted to do.
Im worried that im not a good role model for my brother.
Im worried that ill always be two steps behind everyone else.
Im worried that ill miss out on opportunity after opportunity.
Im worried that im not living my life the way i could be.

But mostly, im just worried about this exam.

爱拼才会赢

现在每次听了这首歌心里都是酸甜酸甜的，又把我带回到了童年。

窗外的景色

苦涩的天下着蒙蒙细雨，模糊了窗外的景色。远方的建筑仿佛被愁丝般细的窗帘慢慢覆盖，直到连外线都被吞没。独自在图书馆第六层的我瞧瞧得埋怨自己当年没有好好学习汉语，现在无法描述窗外仙境般得景色。

Okay, i lied.

I wish i had an unlimited supply of NZT (the drug used to enhance brain fucntion in Limitless).
Right now i have zero motivation and my brain isn't even working. All i want to do is sleep. My eyes have the dull glazed look of someone whos given up all hope on life.
I think my life is getting pretty close to the point where i hit rock bottom. Man, if only NZT existed, or something equivalent. Something that'll get me out of this slump, and turn my life around.

Limitless

Imagine what it would be like, to be able to unlock our hidden potential. Where would our lives be right now, had we the ability to function at our full capacity? What would we be able to achieve? What are the places we could go to? What kind of person could we become? The possibilities are endless.

The movie Limitless starring Bradley Cooper revolves around the idea that the average human brain only functions at 10-20% of its full capacity, and that it is possible to chemically induce the brain to function at 100% capacity through a drug. As a result, the main protagonist became induced in a mentally enhanced state where he experienced a marked increase in the sensitivity of his perception, an enhancement of his ability to learn, dramatically improved memory, clearer and faster thought processes, and a general increase in intelligence. From this he was able to rejuvenate his life and career, rising to the top of the food chain from the lowest echelons of society in a matter of months. He was able to learn new languages in a matter of days, seduce any women he wants, and manipulate people as if they were puppets with strings attached to his fingers.

But, what this movie was not trying to say was, how amazing life would be if we had such a drug at our disposal. Rather, it implies that each and every one of us have hidden potential, and that the ability to unlock this does not lie within a chemical concoction, but within ourselves. If we exploited our intelligence, our abilities, our capabilities to the full so that we grasp every opportunity, making full use of every second of our lives, then the possibilities are limitless.