Ive officially been in Melbourne for 3 months now

An update on my life in Melbourne is probably long overdue, but i just can't find the energy and inspiration to write one, it takes too much effort, you know? All I can say really is that it feels like much longer than 3 months. It feels like ive been living in Melbourne for 3 years. Everything is so familiar to me, its crazy to think that just 3 months ago, I did not know this city at all, nor her me. But sometimes, when i lie in bed trying to fall asleep, I still try to picture myself lying in my bed in Auckland. I really do miss the place that Ive come to call home for 13 years.

But, coming to Melbourne was definitely the right decision. I've grown as a person, and broadened my knowledge of the world, as well as my cooking skills ;D
In only 3 months, Melbourne has already given me something that Auckland couldnt do in 4 years: an internship. Although its unpaid, im very excited at the prospect of finally being able to work in a job related to my field. Its time for me to prove myself to the world what im really made of.

I suppose another reason the past 3 months has seemed so long is because of how tough it is. Its been a really hard 3 months. Sometimes, I felt like everything was falling apart and the loneliness and the stress and the pressure and everything weighing down on me threatened to overwhelm me. But each time, my girlfriend and family were there to support me, and they would bring me back from the precipice of self-destruction. Im so glad that this semester is finally drawing to an end. Its been a long and hard battle, and im looking forward to the holidays.

One of my main concerns now is my health. Ive been sleeping and eating very irregularly and they're bound to take a toll on my body, whether i realise it or not. I really dont want to die of cancer when im 40 years old, so this is something i really have to fix quickly. Now that things are slowing down a bit, hopefully ill be able to turn things around.

Other than that, theres not much else to say. Ive met more new people and solidified existing relationships, but on a whole, i havent been going out much at all. Im not really a party person anyways, im more of a nerd who likes to stay home and play games and watch movies, so i guess thats okay with me.

That will be all for now. Looking forward to going back to Auckland to see my family and my friends. Until then, stay safe and stay cool my dear readers. Peace out =]

In the next 50 hours

Body, i need you to:

Stay strong and not fall sick.
Stay awake and not feel tired.
Have the energy to write 3500 words.

Mind, i need you to:

Stay alert and run at 110%
Stay positive
Delve into your darkest recesses and dredge up the knowledge to write 3500 words

Spirit, i need you to:

Staying strong and keep fighting
Stay vigilant and courageous in these trying times
Never waver in the face of having to write 3500 words

Let's work together and get through this!

This is why I love Melbourne

Tonight, while walking along the streets of the CBD, I heard a familiar tune. It was an Asian boy with thick black rim glasses playing a Jay Chou song on his keyboard. I normally don't give money to baskers unless I really like their performance. Maybe it was because of the sweet, touching melody. Maybe it was because it was a Jay Chou song. Maybe it was because its not everyday you see a bookish looking asian boy who is brave enough to bask on a busy Melbourne street. Maybe it was all of the above. But either way, I couldn't help but give him a dollar. If I was an asian girl, I'd totally fall in love with him.

I'm a man of few talents

I can't sing. I can't play an instrument. I can't dance. Im not very good at art. Im not very good at sports. Im not even very good at Starcraft.

Most people seem to at least have one talent that sets them apart from everyone else. They can sing well. Or is exceptionally good at an instrument. Or both. It helps them stand out. Its something that can impress people, grab their attention, charm them, attract them, make them fall in love.

I don't have any of that. I guess the only thing i've got going is my intellect. I have a good memory, and a strong ability to understand things. When I combine this with hard work, I perform very well academically. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to exploit this talent very well in the past years because I've been lazy and misguided.

But now, I realise that this is the only way I can be good at something. I really want to be good at something. I want a quality about me that defines me, that sets me apart from everyone else. Something that I can be proud of.

I want to make my mark on this world. I don't want to lead a mediocre life as a mediocre man. The only way I can prove my worth now is through my career. This will be my 'talent' - becoming an exceptional professional in the environmental field. The environment intrigues me. It is my passion. Since Im not very good at anything else, I must excel in this field. I must study hard, work hard, and achieve a fulfilling career. This is the only way i will be able to find my place in this world. This is the only way for me to stand in the spotlight for once, and shine.

Long distance

Every day you are confronted with the happiness of other couples, and a mixture of emotions well up inside. Happiness, admiration, envy, jealousy, anger, sadness, nostalgia. You think back to the good times you've had, and you dream about what could've been inside your arms at this very moment. And then comes the doubt. You doubt yourself. You doubt your decision to leave her in the pursuit of your dreams. You ask yourself is it really all worth it. The pain. The longing. The cherished memories that begin to haunt your waking moments. You ask yourself what are even your dreams. And there's no right answer.

But then the moment passes. You tell yourself there's only this many days left before you see her. Wasn't it this number yesterday? You readjust your bag strap on your shoulder, tighten your coat around your body, take a long draw on your cigarette, look straight ahead, and keep walking forwards.