"Relationships are scary", a friend once said to me

And i couldnt agree more. I know this may seem like an obvious thing to say, but relationships are hard...

Having spent the past 20 years by myself, learning to share my life with another person is a really challenging experience. No longer can i do as i please, for my every action and inaction will affect the person i care most about. I am subjected to a whole new range of experiences and emotions, and find myself in situations that i do not know how to deal with yet.

I guess this stems partly from my lack of experience, but also from my own flaws. The past few months have made me discover new things about myself. I realise now that I am emotionally immature, irrational, intolerant, have a tendency to over-think and over-complicate things, a control freak, and very selfish. I've also learnt that being truly good to someone and thinking that youre being good to someone are two VERY different things.

The truth is, i really don't know what the fuck im doing. There's so much that i don't know, so much that i need to learn, so much that i need to improve on. I really wish that there was a text book or manual on how to be a good boyfriend and maintain a healthy relationship. Sadly, nothing in life is ever that easy.

However, the first step to finding a solution to a problem is recognising what the problem is. So at least im on the right track.