A poem I wrote for Chinese Valentines, enjoy =]

This is a poem I write for you

Every word, every pause, speaks the truth

It matters not if my words you do not comprehend

These mortal boundaries my feelings will transcend

For emotions can be understood in any language

A type of prose only the heart can manage

You are the blue sky after a night of rain

Bright, boundless, and more beautiful than words can explain

I am the clouds that bathe in your beauty

In your presence I float euphoric and carefree

Your gentle smile wipes away all my problems

And in its place happiness blossoms

Your tender voice melts away my strongest defences

Leaving my heart absolutely defenceless

Your innocent eyes see through all my pretensions

You see the real me, with pure apprehension.

This is a poem I write for you

There’s so much more for you I’d do

It matters not if my gestures you do not understand

I do not need a reason to want to hold your hand

Everything I’ve written is from the heart

From within me these feelings I impart

The person that i need

 "There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me

Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay"

So the other day, i missed out on a really good job opportunity

I had applied for a summer studentship and they emailed me back for an interview. But i did not see the email in time because i went to Great Barrier for a week, and now its too late.

Even though there was no guarantee that i would get the job, I felt really disappointed. I guess im upset about the wasted opportunity, and angry at myself. Now once again, i feel the wave of past regrets surging up to drown me. I find myself getting lost in a sea of what-ifs and what-could've-beens, slowly sinking into the darkness of its bottomless depth. (Lol, why am i even using an extended metaphor about water? The studentship was about fucking soils!) Such doubts and regrets are just the lastest in my growing disillusionment and resentment of tertiary education institutions. IT'S ALL FUCKING LIES!!!

Anyways, its really easy to lose myself in such insecurities, i guess its something that plagues everyone to some extent. I need to stop worrying about the future or tormenting myself over the past, and just focus on the present. If i work hard enough, if i try enough times, if i am truly worthy, i believe i will find the right girl job one day.

画上句号

昨晚，我没有睡好，因为我太兴奋了。

我终于可以把我的过去画上一个句号；把我以前的经历告一个段落。

我的生活从今天开始翻了新的一页，进入了下一个阶段。

我很兴奋，并且也很害怕。未来的路还很艰难，很漫长。

可是我有了新的勇气，有了新的希望，可以大胆地去面对无可避免的困难和考验。
我要努力。我要奋斗。我要成功。

未来，你来吧！

this day has finally arrived

the day of her coming

the day of my salvation

the day darkness will be driven from my world

and my desolate cheeks will once more feel the kiss of sunlight

the day the barren cold will be banished from my life

and even the ice within the recesses of my heart will begin to thaw

the day bare branches will sprout life anew

and from the pallid pupae will emerge something beautiful

the day solitary stems will bear fresh bulbs

and from these bulbs the promise of love will blossom

it has been a long time coming, but she is finally here

yes, spring has arrived.