okay lately ive been posting all this abstract shit on my blog but right now all i feel like doing is writing down whatever is in my mind right now.  reading Chon's and Amy's blog made me realize that my blog needs more of these posts. posts where i can talk about my THOUGHTS and FEELINGS, or just ramble on.
so i had a really good day today, the weather was amazing, i caught up with friends, made new ones, and still managed to exercise. i truly felt that i lived today to the full. yet as i sit here listening to the new mayday album (thanks Amy n_n), i cant help but be overwhelmed by a sense of melancholy (no i dont think its cause of the music lol. or maybe it is).

"一个人 想着一个人是否叫寂寞"

sigh. tbh solitude isnt that bad. reading One Hundred Years of Solitude gives me the feeling that all of humanity is alone, that every person is relegated to the fate of a lifetime of solitude. im beginning to think that true love doesn't exist, only lust and passion, which are both ephemeral. only companionship, appreciation, and affection truly exists. i think i can live with that.

they say we only want what we cant have. that might be true in some cases, but i know that if she was ever mine, even for a brief moment, id be happy. you can call it true love, or whatever you want, but id be so fucking happy. i think i will give it one last try. and this time there wont be any doubts, or falters in my step. this time i will give it my all. i will either emerge victorious at the top, or be a bloodied battered and broken mess at the bottom. baby i've got moves even i havnt seen yet.

man i love alliteration, but i gotta learn some other language techniques if i want to reach the next level in my writing. if only i could harness the power of extended metaphors, then omg my verses will be fucking magnificent. like pablo neruda, who alludes to sex using metaphors of nature. and he was only a teenager when he wrote those poems. what a horny guy. but hey, bitches love poetry. ive also realised how limited my vocabulary is. sigh i wish i didnt have so much going on this year, then i could dedicate some time to truly improving my english capabilities. like learn proper grammar, which i is never teached.

lately ive come more and more to the realisation that there are so many pretty, funny, kind, amazing asian girls out there. life could have chosen for me to meet any of them, and i wouldve fallen madly in love. but it so happens that ive met this particular one, so guess im stuck with this tree. maybe ill hang dead on it, maybe i wont. i dont really care. its like how there are so many amazing people out there that we could potentially be friends with, but because of fate, we've met the particular set of special people who are now an intimate part of our lives and will continue to be so for many years into the future.

okay, im getting sleepy now and HOLY SHIT ITS 11:11. i didnt wait for it, i swear.
okay so what happens if its still 11:11 when i close my eyes to make a wish but then it takes me a few seconds to think about it and by the time i open my eyes its 11:12 and i dont know whether it was actually still 11:11 when i made the wish, does it still count? i hope my wish comes true, for her.

okay i shall now go to sleep naoz. bobby out.