I like the letter f

i wish i could write something

so brilliant your mind will unhinge

instead im sitting here staring

into the soft glare of my laptop screen

if only i had the slightest inkling

of what poetry is actually about

i wouldn't look like a fool right now

sitting here trying to rhyme out loud

sleep is the last thing on my agenda

frustration floats to the fore

a bit of alliteration wont do any harm

maybe ill even throw in a metaphor

what is it that people do at 1:30 am

i cannot fathom

i roam the internet aimlessly

a directionless phantom

slowly the frigid fingers of fatigue

pry shut my eyes

my mind finally finds peace

in a soothing harmony of lies.

All I Want For Christmas

Somehow Christmas just doesn't feel the same without snow

There's a certain romance to those falling flecks of white.

The way they light up from the glow of the lights show

It must be a truly beautiful sight.

I wonder what everyone else is doing

On such a lonely night.

Are they also wishing it was snowing

Or that the one person who truly mattered was in their arms tight.

Even if two people are thousands of miles apart 

Just two words uttered

A butterfly's wings fluttered

A single heartbeat stuttered
Can ignite a world of hearts.

To all those that I hold dear

Merry Christmas.

从今天开始，我要改变自己

从小事情做起。就从早起早睡做起，一点一点得改变自己，改变我的生活，改变我的未来。
我在此发誓，一定要从这个黑暗的地方走出去，找到幸福。

From today onwards, i will change the man in the mirror. Starting from the small things, like sleeping early and waking up early, i will slowly work my way up. I will change myself, my lifestyle, my future. I hereby promise myself, i will find my way out of this darkness, until the light of happiness can once again be felt upon my face.

Voices

I could never remember the next morning whether familiar people in my dreams actually talked out loud, or if the words were mutely inserted into my mind, like reading subtitles. And even if they did speak, was it narrated through my own voice, or were their words projected through my perception of their unique voices?

I finally found the answer today. While dreams normally fade very quickly upon my waking, this mornings dream was still vivid within my mind. Like a movie being played inside my head, the stark images of every person's face was imprinted onto the frontal lobes of my brain. Usually when this happens, it is like watching a movie on mute. You see the situation unfolding, and the characters mouth moving, but no sounds come out. However today was different. The familiar high pitched whine of the recurring female lead was distinctly hers, her exasperated words still reverberating within my mind. I could also hear my own pleading voice projecting from the camera in reply (the dream was in first person). Even the occasional line chimed in by the supporting cast was spoken in their own individual voices.

My dreams have taken on a new level of surrealism. The line between this fantasy realm and reality is beginning to blur. The facial features, the mannerisms, the voices, it all just seems so complete. Maybe that is why i love to sleep so much. So i can dream.