in light of recent events, ive been led to further believe that there is a divine power ruling over us all. we are awarded for hard work and perseverance, while we are punished for greed, gluttony, and trying to take shortcuts.
ive done some bad things, thought some bad thoughts, and ive been appropriately punished. now i realise that me being in my current predicament today has nothing to do with luck or curses, but merely a result of my own actions. ive been insincere, cowardly, insecure, fickle and most of all, unpersevering. i guess in this world, it is not who we are on the inside that matters, but what we do. however having said that, i need to change who i am on the inside first before i can hope to change how others perceive me. i really have been an idiot all my life. ive made mistake after mistake. but now ive gained the ability to recognise these mistakes, and that for me is an invaluable giant leap forward. im still no closer to understanding the inner workings of the female mind. but now i know some of the things im doing wrong, and it is clear what i must do next. theres no such thing as a clean slate. but there are second chances.