in light of recent events, ive been led to further believe that there is a divine power ruling over us all. we are awarded for hard work and perseverance, while we are punished for greed, gluttony, and trying to take shortcuts.
ive done some bad things, thought some bad thoughts, and ive been appropriately punished. now i realise that me being in my current predicament today has nothing to do with luck or curses, but merely a result of my own actions. ive been insincere, cowardly, insecure, fickle and most of all, unpersevering. i guess in this world, it is not who we are on the inside that matters, but what we do. however having said that, i need to change who i am on the inside first before i can hope to change how others perceive me. i really have been an idiot all my life. ive made mistake after mistake. but now ive gained the ability to recognise these mistakes, and that for me is an invaluable giant leap forward. im still no closer to understanding the inner workings of the female mind. but now i know some of the things im doing wrong, and it is clear what i must do next. theres no such thing as a clean slate. but there are second chances.

A Midnight Stroll

There's something about the magic of Night, that Day can never hope to capture. The cool still air, the serene silence, the infinite beauty of the stars, and the slow lament of the pallid moon. It was as if the whole world had stopped moving, falling asleep in its warm pyjamas that seemed to radiate a million minuscule suns shimmering against a backdrop of the darkest hue.

The only sounds that punctuated the silence of the still night were two soft sets of footsteps leisurely making their way along the deserted footpath. The only movements that perturbed the tranquility of the timeless scenery were the shadows of two solitary figures fluidly floating along the lifeless concrete. As they emerged into the comfortable orange glow of a streetlamp, the distinct silhouettes of a boy and a girl could be made out. In a world that seemed to have been frozen in time by a cast spell, they were the only gratifying signs of life. Yet from afar, even their existence did not appear wholly tangible as they became lost in the shadows of the trees, only to reemerge, unscathed, into the consolidating cocoon of a lamppost, only to disappear again seconds later. Like two space travelers, they flitted in and out of the material world.

As they walked, the boy inched closer towards the girl, at 5 centimetres per second. For a brief moment, their arms touched, and a supernova of exhilaration exploded up his arm. Gazing up at the starry sky, feeling the reassuring presence of the girl next to him, a nebulae of euphoria began to spread across his chest. For the first time in a long time, the boy was at ease. He let out a drawn breath, a constellation of tiny gaseous particles diffusing into the infinite space of the universe. He could walk like this forever.

At that very moment, he did not give a care for the rest of the world. His whole world was standing right in front of him. The instant he stared into her eyes, he was as good as lost. Her eyes were a galaxy of their own. Brooding, ever shifting, full of untapped secrets. The boy was hopelessly drawn by their gravitational pull. Not even light could escape the black hole of her pupils. The battle was as good as lost. He belonged to her now.

Its such a secret place, the land of tears.

Nothin bout them

beautiful girls
all over the world
i could be chasing
but my heart would be breakin
i know nothin bout them ladies
nothin bout them ladies
i will say hi
and they might say hey back
but i wouldnt count on them lookin my way
cause i know nothin bout them ladies
nothing bout them ladies.

so like, i want this song to be played at my funeral.

Journey

It was unclear what woke him. It might have been the jittery motions of the bus, or the uninvited cold, or maybe he simply sensed that his stop was near. Opening his eyes, the familiar interior of the bus greeted him once again. Through the window, brooding clouds sulked in the melancholic sky, heavy with burden. Tightening the scarf around his neck, the boy prepared himself for the long walk ahead of him.

Stepping off the bus, the cold immediately rushed up to greet him, eagerly smothering him in its icy embrace. Burying his face deeper into the scarf, the boy trudged onwards. He had walked this path hundreds of times before, the sights and sounds a familiar blur in the background as an endless stream of Asian pop music flowed into his ears. It was just like any other day.

Something wet and cold suddenly landed on his nose. It landed again, this time on his cheek. He started to feel it in his hair, on the back of his hands. It had started to drizzle. Fishing around his bag, the boy felt for the comforting fabric of his umbrella. Silently thanking his foresight, the boy continued onwards under his new canopy of nylon.

Yet something was different today. This was no ordinary rain. The droplets had a cohesive feel to them, almost as if they were solid. As each one impacted the ground, it bounced a little, remaining intact for a brief second before disappearing. Like a thousand tiny comets, ice pellets began to fall all around him. It was like walking in the midst of a icy meteor shower. He felt that at that moment, all of his wishes would come true.

His surroundings suddenly became novel again, as if the falling sleet had shattered the monotony of familiarity. Everywhere he looked, the scenery appeared strange, unrecognisable. It was as if he had accidentally fallen asleep on the bus and had woken up in a completely foreign land. He craned his neck left and right, marveling at the magic happening all around him.

That was when he first noticed it. Amidst the curtain of falling ice, a barely perceptible fleck of pure white, gracefully descending from the sky on invisible wings. It was an unique individual. Unlike the graupel, it did not plummet blindly to its own demise. No, for a beautifully brief moment, it danced. Borne on some unseen current, it twisted and spun, momentarily spiraling upwards, soaring into the air, as if intent on returning to where ever it came from. It floated towards the ground, then leapt into the air once again, all of its limbs extended towards the sky. Finally, the snowflake came to rest at his feet, completely spent.

i'm an aspiring artist

i wish to be able to one day paint a thousand pictures with just one word.

Today i was a dolphin.

Through the loud music pumping into my hears, i suddenly heard a commotion. Turning around i saw that a crowd had gathered by the banister, all peering into the ocean at some hidden sight. Roused from my seat, i edged closer to see what all the fuss was about. Among the exclamations of joy and surprise, i managed to make out one word - dolphins.

I felt excitement welling up inside of me. I had never seen a dolphin in real life before. However the banister was by now fully lined with people, all desperate to catch a glimpse of such a majestic animal in its natural habitat. Turning around, i decided to brave the fierce winds of the top observation deck, and was in turn rewarded with what was about to be one of the most profound moments of my life.

At first nothing could be made out except for the continuous ripples of the ocean and the trail of white foam that marked the passage of our boat. Then for a brief second, a fin appeared in the distance, slicing cleanly through the water like a knife parting paper. It was a barely perceptible ripple, but there was no doubt in my mind that this was caused by no mere wave. Tense moments passed, and no further signs seemed to disturb the ocean surface. Just as i was about to relinquish hope, a flawlessly streamlined body, perfected by millions of years of evolutionary design, exploded from the depths. It soared into the air with graceful ease before disappearing into the water once again.

The water surface erupted into activity. There had to be a dozen of them, weaving in and out of sight. A pair of them began to swim alongside the boat, their movements perfectly synchronised. Their bodies, the colour of the deepest oceans, seemed to glide effortlessly through the water, a stark contrast to the cumbersome motions of the boat. I was elated. Never before had i witnessed a sight so profoundly beautiful. This was nature in its purest, most pristine, unfiltered, undiluted, unpolluted form.

In that moment of raw beauty, i realised why i loved nature so much, why i strive to learn about it, why i worked so hard to protect it. All of my lifes problems disappeared, washed away by the ocean currents. They seemed so petty in the face of such majesty. Mesmerized, i stood there silently, unable to utter a single exclamation of joy or surprise. Only my eyes moved, greedily consuming every movement, every colour, every contour, locking it all away in the form of precious memories in the vault of my mind. No one will ever be able to take this away from me. I was there, a part of the moment, a part of nature. Today, i was a dolphin.