When i fell

http://songsforcinema.com/album/when-five-fell
(listen to this soundtrack as you read this in a loud whisper)

She was never like all the other girls. Her eyes gave it away. They were always looking into the distance. Dreaming of a faraway land, with white washed shores and cherry blossom rain.

This is me. If my life has any purpose, it is to take her to anywhere she wants to go. I give her reason to get up in the morning, reason to leave the house, to face the real world.

Anyone can claim to have been with her, but how many can say that they've been by her side from the very beginning? To be there for every step of the journey - every moment, every scene, every first. To be a part of it. The first kiss, the first sunset, the first dance in the rain. To be able to walk alongside her, to know the shape of her footprints, the contours of her feet. Hers and mine blurring together in the sand until they are no longer able to be distinguished apart. It is as if the strings of fate have tied our lives together, our paths crisscrossed as far as the eye could see, disappearing over the horizon, entwined forever.

Our story is not one that can be told in words. Every wrinkle, every scar, every little pock mark, tells its own story. Its woven into the very fabric of my existence. After all, words can only take you so far. You'd really have to be there. To a stranger, my features may look worn, weary; the consequences of a hard, neglectful life. But little do they know, they're actually the telltale signs of a life lived to its fullest.

Can you imagine what its like, to know every little detail about the one you love, down to the length of her strides? To come face to face with her bare soul everyday, to feel its warm innocent caress, to witness its breathtaking beauty in all its simplicity? To feel her heartbeats resounding right next to your chest, as if they were your own?

She must know what she does to me. She was the only girl to have ever truly touched my soul. The gentleness of her touch can melt away even the heaviest of burdens, until i feel as if i'm walking on air. How will i ever find someone else to take her place, to fill her shoes? Sometimes i feel as if she is the only one that can take me to where i want to go. Without her by my side, who will i show the world to? Without her, who will i share each moment with? Without her, the word amazing will mean nothing but myriad memories lost in the intricate mazes of my mind. Without her. I cannot live without her.

But now i've realised the truth. The real reason behind why shes so different from all the other girls, the reason that makes her so special. The land she dreams of, the place she wants to go, was never a part of the world i live in. It is a place i cannot take her, a place i cannot go to. It saddens me that our journey will eventually come to an end, that i wont be the one to be by her side, when the sun grows old and the stars fade, and the moon is but a shadow of its former self. It saddens me so much sometimes, that it threatens to tear my heart asunder.

But then i think back to all the moments we've shared together, all the times when its just her and me, all the words, smiles and laughter that's been exchanged, knowing that all of this was real, knowing that they are permanently inked into the fabric of the universe, and that nothing will ever be able to wash them away, and i start to feel okay.

I was not born special. I was never one of a kind. But like any other, i have a story to tell.
This is me.
And this is my story.