Woah, havnt written a lengthy post in a long time

I think in light of recent events and given my sober hungover state, its a perfect time to reflect and introspect.

I'm not proud of the person i've become, i can honestly say. It's not even the smoking, the drinking. Its the loss of my values, my resolve, my motivation. I've failed to value the important contribution my family plays in my life. I've failed to resolve my own problems, and instead turned to temporary escapes from reality and pushed the blame on the universe, when i am solely responsible for the mire im in. I've failed to motivate myself to study, to socialise, to stay healthy, to stay attuned to my surroundings, to take advantage of the opportunities ive been offered let alone go out into society and actively search for them.

Looking at the individual faces of the people lining up at primo, i've come to realise that im becoming the very type of person that i despise. If i wanted to be a promiscuous substance abusing hedonistic degenerate, i should've become one a long time ago. Its too late now to live that kind of lifestyle. Im too old to lose my integrity, to make bad decisions, to derail my life. Karma is real, and its got a seriously bitching round house kick.

I cannot continue down the path of self destruction any longer. I can't continue to jeopardise the integrity of my future career, future relationships, and future health. I dont want to live a life full of regret. Sure, that might sound cliched, but its only overused because its true.

Nothing good happens after 2am.
And nothing good ever comes out of doing something bad.