Im 5 years old again

Today, i embarked on a safari down memory lane. As i watched The Lion King, i was a five year old boy again, absorbed into the beautiful world of Africa and the magic of talking animals. Everything was so fresh, so new, yet so familiar at the same time. I thoroughly loved every second of it. I think ive finally been able to understand the movie on a whole new level. I actually understood the entire plot, and Scars sarcasm. Its amazing how much wit there is hidden behind such a simple children's tale. I dont recall ever laughing this hard watching it before, but then again, i think half the time i was simply laughing out of nostalgia. Just hearing Timone speak for the first time again triggered so much emotions within me, and i just couldnt help but crack up. Honestly, what a beautifully made movie. The rich setting, the colourful characters, the witty dialogue, the amazing music, and the beautiful messages of responsibility, love and friendship just simply warms the heart. This movie will always deserve a special place within my heart, and i hope to watch it on the big screens again in 10, 15 years time with my children, and they'll enjoy it just as much as i know i will.

Hi I'm bobby and I like little boys

I think I might write a poem about little boys.

little boys are so cute and fat
oh how I wish I was cute like that
sometimes I just like to stare at them all day
sometimes it helps me keep my troubles away
if only I was a little boy
then I could have another little boy as my toy
and now I think I must be frank
I really need to go and wank

Today, i finally canceled my monthly donation of $15 to the Red Cross after more than two years of continued support. I used to have so much faith in the world. I believed that i could honestly make a difference, no matter how small the amount. I believed that all the good things i did, will amount to something, and that even if people did not appreciate it, the universe would.

But as i wake up each morning, facing yet another day in this life, a little bit of that faith dies. Everyday, i grow a little more indifferent, a little more selfish, smothered by the banality of life. I used to think that humans are intrinsically good, but some turn evil due to their nurture. Now i find myself believing more and more that humans are intrinsically evil, and it is only the fear of retribution that keeps us from committing harm. We are all selfish, we are all animals, and our civilization is nothing but an illusion. Its amazing how easily we revert to our animalistic instincts and discard all allusions of grandeur and sophistication. We are worse than animals. At least they dont kill their own species out of sheer pleasure.

I find myself losing hope in the humanity within all of us, within myself, in the face of all that goes on around me. Everyday i contemplate my purpose here in life, and each day, i resign myself a little more to a banal life where i will eat, shit, work, fuck and sleep while awaiting my eventual death. Where i live for the sake of staying alive. I want to break free of this world. Run away, to a far distant planet, where magic still exists and people still care about each other. I really want to.

Im running out of time. Soon, ill even stop caring about that.

New found heights

a wise man once told me, some people are physically short, but  mentally tall, while others are physically tall, but  mentally short. since my teenage years, my height has been one of my greatest insecurities. i constantly look at other men and try to size them up, gauging their height, wishing that i was just a few centimetres taller. such insecurities are like a disease, slowly rotting my mind and self-esteem.

now ive realised, i am my own greatest critic. it is not that i am physically small, but rather small-minded. our society is discriminatory towards height, yet half the population falls below the average height. this means that short people are actively participating in height discrimination themselves, yet we complain that society is prejudiced towards shorter people. we have victimized ourselves, fallen on our own swords. the root of the problem does not lie with society, for everything is relative - 50% of the population will always be below the average height, it is statistically dictated. the problem is within ourselves.

how can i hope to appeal to others, to demand respect and admiration, when i do not respect nor believe in myself? it is not how i look that will determine anothers judgement of me, but rather who i am, and what i do. i think it is time to cast away these old shackles that have been holding me back all these years, and raise  myself to my true height.

The perfect day

The perfect day is not the day

where you accomplish the most,

or when everything goes your way

nor is it measured by the number of

successes you can boast, no.

The perfect day is in the secret songs birds sing
in the subtle advent of spring.

It is in the quiet subservience of grass blades

as a cat stalks silently through your garden.

It is in the way leaves listen so attentively

as the wind whispers in its ears.

It is in the lazy lull of listless clouds

as they marvel at the blue sky.

The perfect day is in the loving texture

of a sandwich made by your mom.

It is in the lingering of coffee

as it relishes the bittersweet aftertaste of you.

It is in the shivering joy of running your fingers

down the smooth spine of a riveting read.

It is in the beauty of the sun

reflected off of your glowing iridescent skin.

Yes, the perfect day is the day 

where you accomplish the least,

when nothing seems to be going your way

yet you feel completely at ease.

Happy birthday simon

simon smells
like bad bowels
he is homosexual
but call him special
or he will get hurt
and he will act curt
without explanation
not changing his expression
even if you tell a funny joke
he will sit there and sulk
at a desk on a computer
or sob quietly into his shower
he wants to eat
but the scales he must beat
money is his greatest enemy
he wont look twice at a penny
he wants to be a billionaire
but sadly life is unfair
he is easily distracted
assignments become protracted
even though they're easy
cause arts is just breezy
he loves to play basketball
but he drew the short straw
when he decided on a spree
to have a fight with a tree
and subsequently lost
and boy did it cost
but he has learnt his lesson
now he knows the reason
for his very existence
in this blog in this sentence
is because he is gay
and its his birthday.


i love you bro. no homo.
and have an awesome day today.

i think this is going to be my wedding song